Jesus Christ is dead. Muhammad is dead. Buda is dead. L. Ron hubbard is dead and was a fucking fiction writer to begin with. I’m literally going crazy right now. Religion sounds crazy to me. I’m losing my goddamn mind. I wanna believe in an afterlife. I wanna believe Jesus Christ will save all of us. My least favourite people in the world are christians. Even reading this now they’re thinking “oh he’s backsliding”, I know they are thinking that because they’re all crazy and I used to think the same about people a few years ago. They honestly think they’re better than everyone.. I know because I used to be one of them. Actually… Scientology, Christianity, and Islam… they all think they’re better than everybody. They’re all judgmental assholes. I realize I’m calling out 90% of my friends on here, I’m just losing my mind over this.
Jesus is alive?!?! Where the fuck is he? Where the fuck is he hiding? I have a few words I would like to say to him.
It terrifies me knowing I’m going to die and not know what happens after… I equally think that believing in nothing is crazy as well. I’m just losing my mind.
I messaged you a couple times & I feel like if I do again it's just gonna seem annoying of me, therefore I'll be anon. I'm sorry about your current grief-stricken situation. I didn't experience what you did, but lately a lot of very close friends of mine have revealed deeply sad stories that have happened to them, and it just hurts to know about these things. I sometimes cry and am struck with grief as well, and I wish that wouldn't happen to people, and you. I hope your heart feels better soon.
Ahhh I am so sorry for not getting back! Would you please message me again off anon! I’ll respond straight away! If you don’t wanna, then thank you so much for the kind words from the bottom of my heart. Sincerely means a lot <3
This might be my last night on earth. Also, this might equally be your last night on earth. So don’t forget to be thankful for the things that make you glow in your life. Don’t forget to forgive as often as possible. Don’t forget to love as much as your beautiful self can. You’re all pretty. I wanna kiss you all on the lips for 20 minutes. Be safe and love you all!
EVERYONE IS SO HAPPY AND THANKFUL! Imagine if everyday were thanksgiving, minus the stuffing our faces to the max. Man, I swear to god we’re literally all crazy. We’re mental. We have the mind power to be this happy and thankful everyday. Most folks use holidays like today as an excuse to get in contact with family they haven’t spoken to in a while. Imagine if there were no holidays. I bet some folks would just lose contact with their family all together and forget to be thankful for everyday things, like clean water. I swear something is wrong with us all! God save us. Happy Thanksgiving, though. We’ll figure this out together, okay? We can do this!
The ronald mcdonald clown came on screen for the parade, and my little sister says, “Oh, that’s creepy!” and I said, “Bella, don’t be rude. He died for your sins” and my dad got mad that I said that, but my brother thought it was hysterical ha Also, we’re having the smallest thanksgiving we’ve ever had! Just the four of us.
Love doesn't come from your heart... it comes from your soul
Love is so powerful. It works powerfully two ways. It can make you flourish, or it can make you fade and fall apart. Humans can have deep sincere love for a lot of things in their life, And it’s beautiful and it’s so very precious, but when that gets taken away, it takes a part of your soul, man. Times heals most wounds, but sometimes the wound goes too deep.. sometimes it reaches the depths of your soul and takes a part of you. Love can heal and mend, but some broken bones may never heal right. Often I feel like a faded version of who I used to be, but I’m not giving up on love. Don’t fade out. It’s so hard not too, and I know there’s a point where it’s beyond humanly possible not to, but don’t fade out. I’m still going to love as deep, as sincere, as genuine, and as long as my soul will allow. Love can mend a heart, but when it mends a soul, the hurt is still there… it never leaves… but you’re not alone. Love doesn’t come from your heart, it comes from your soul.
One of my childhood friends was killed earlier this year and today some random memories have been filling my head of times we had. He had a good heart. We lost contact these last few years, but he had a good heart. It’s crazy how grief can creep up on you.
I did an interview with So Many Amazing People, by the lovely Kristi Hoskins Echaves. By far the deepest and most personal interview I have ever done. CHECK IT OUT if you are into my music and wanna know more behind it and who I am as a person. <3
1. What did the life of a 15 Kerry look like and does it resemble your life now?
"I mean, Yes and no. I was a really insecure kid growing up, especially through high school. I was home schooled my whole life, so the only time I got out was band practice(every Saturday and Sunday) and church, which were the same place, ha. I started the band with the dudes when I was about 12 and we faithfully practiced every week. I didn’t like leaving my room. I rarely went to my friends house(except my band mates). I remember kids teasing me for being a bit chubby growing up and that did something to my head that effects me to this day. When I think of my childhood, I think of being in my room, writing music and probably crying a lot because I was and always have been an emotional person. At the age of 15, I already lost two really close family members to suicide and one normal death that just kinda messed me up. So at 15 I was a kid who kinda hid behind being funny to hide being sad, and I still do that to this day. So me and my 15 self have a little bit in common". He adds " sorry if that answer was too long".
2. At what age do you remember hearing a song that changed your life?Remember the song?
"I remember being 12 listening to the song "Simon" by Lifehouse and really feeling the lyrics. He wrote it about being bullied when he was younger(he was also home schooled). I remember specifically one day listening to it at night and I just couldn’t help but cry. A song actually did something to me that I couldn’t explain. I knew I wanted to do that for other people from then on with my songs. I want them to relate and feel my songs with the same unexplainable feeling I had while listening to "Simon". Like, I’m listening to that song now while writing this and getting teary eyed, ha. This song and album meant so much to me that I got the album artwork tattooed on my arm".
3. Super secret artist/entertainer indulgence? Why?
"Hmm.. I don’t know. I never really got when folks say "My guilty pleasure" while talking about music. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to bring up anything I listen to. Like, three obscure ones for me would be, Lady gaga, Kanye west, Attack Attack".(The interviewer will forgive you for the Kanye thing, this time).
4. Do you feel you are a better singer or friend?
"I would like to think I’m a better person. I’ll go with friend"!
5.Has there been a low thus far that you feel/felt you’d not recover from? How have you coped, if so?
"Hmmm yeah, after my mother passed a few years ago. I haven’t and won’t recover from it. They say time heals all wounds, but I swear to God it’s a lie. It’s dangerous to believe that too, because if you go through something really traumatic, and you have folks telling you it gets a lot easier and the pain goes away and then it doesn’t, you’ll start to think something is wrong with you. The message in some of my songs is, sometimes it doesn’t get better, sometimes it gets worse, BUT you have some folks who have gone through the same stuff and that feeling of not being alone and being damaged beyond repair ..is what keeps me going. Knowing that I’m not alone in things I go through. It’s encouraging to know there are people out there that I can help through my songs. Like what the song "Simon" did to me. I didn’t feel alone. Music, in a sense, became my friend more than people. Music is so powerful, man".
6. You’ve just been appointed President of your American peers…first thing you’d implement?
"I would ban country music haha Just kidding… hmmm I would probably make marijuana legal. Sounds so weird, haha. That or something to bring violence down. AHHH! I would probably kick the west borough baptist church out of America. Haha yeah, I would do both of those at the same time"!!
7. Tell us something that even your closest may not know about you…
"I feel like I know the time period when I’m going to die. I know I’m going to die in my 20’s. It’s sounds funny, But there is this feeling I’ve had for the last 5 years. I’ve never shared that because it sounds stupid, but It’s more than a feeling. And to add to that, I’m not scared of actually dying, but I’m absolutely terrified of the unknown of what happens after. I know it’s mixed with the anxiety problems I have, but sometimes I shake out of being so scared of it. I mean, there’s that chance I reach 30 and everyone thinks I’m just crazy and overreacting to get attention, but I doubt it for a few reasons I don’t really wanna talk about. But I’m open to anything happening".
8. Current trend you just cannot understand/why?
I think I’ll have to go with mindsets on this one. There is this mindset that I’m seeing now more than ever these days. Folks are trying to prove why they deserve to exist. Being a hard ass, being important, it’s all sad to me. People will go out of their way to put other folks down or prove why they are better than their brother and/or sister just to prove why they deserve to exist. If that makes sense? I feel like people are acting less like themselves and more like what they want other people to see. Being sincere and genuine is becoming a lost art. I’m not saying everyone is like that, I’m just seeing that mentality more and more and feel like it’s “trending” now more than ever”.
9. What would you like to leave as your legacy?
"After I’m gone, I’m gone. I would want people to think I was a loving dude, and somehow helped them in someway or showed them something insightful that they didn’t see before. I don’t wanna be remembered for my music, I wanna be remembered for my heart and soul".
Ahh I never read up on what my sign meant. Never liked “signs” because folks react so weird and I’ve literally had someone stop hanging out with me after they found out I was a Libra.(like what? ha)However, I finally read up what my sign means and it’s pretty spot on, actually. Check it http://www.astrology.com.au/astrology/12-signs-of-the-zodiac/libra.html
Last night someone said they thought I was the lead singer of letlive and when I was onstage they thought they were playing until I sang and then they knew I wasn’t ha. Also, Some drunk dude said I sounded EXACTLY like the lead singer of Three Days Grace. Like, if you know what my vocals sound like, this is quite a funny compliment.
Really felt the St Pete love last night. You folks are what make playing music worth it. Definitely a fan of Sleepwave's new stuff, for real. Made new friends with the awesome and talented dudes in American Fangs . Brilliant night.